quotes juno
Here are some quotes from the movie Juno.
Juno: “it all started with a chair”
store clerk: “well if it isn’t macguff the crime dog back for another test?”
Juno:”well i think the one was defective because the plus sign looked a lil like a division symbol so im still not convinced”
Juno: “silencio old man i just drank my weight in sunny d and i gotta go pronto”
store clerk:” you gotta pay for that pee stick when you get back! don’t think its yours cuz you marked it with your urine”
store clerk: “that ain’t no etch e sketch that one doodle that cant be undid home skillet”
Leah:” juno?
Juno: “no its morgan freeman” (basically their whole phone convo)
Juno: ” im gonna go to women now cuz ya know they help women now
Leah: “so what was it like humpin bleeks boney bod?”
Juno: “magnificent!!”
Juno: “all i see is pork swords”
Juno: “they were talking about in health class that pregnancy often leads to an infant”
Bleeker: “typically yea thats what happens when our moms and teachers get pregnant”
Bleeker: “whos idea was it?”
Juno: “can you hold on a sec i’m on my hamburger phone”
Juno: “i’m gonna say its been about 2 months and 4 days since thee sex mind you thats just a guesstimation.”
Bren: “juno did you by any chance barf in my urn?”
Juno’s dad:”liberty bell if you put one more bacon bit on that potato im gonna kick your lil monkey butt”
Suchin: “all babies want to get borned!” **
Juno: “and the receptionist is trying to get me to take these condoms that look like grape suckers”
Juno: “I was thinking something a lil more edgier like, graphic designer mid 30’s with an Asian girlfriend who like dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass guitar but i dnt wanna be to particular” **
Juno: “and i haven’t taken a dump since Wednesday….morning!”
Juno’s dad: “whos the father?”
Juno: “pauley bleeker”
Juno’s dad: i didn’t know he had it in him
Leah: “i know right!”
Bren:”I was hoping she was expelled or into hard drugs”
Juno’s dad: “i’m gonna punch that bleeker kid in the wiener next time i see him”
Vanessa: “sorry to interrupt the jam session”
Vanessa “about how sure are you like 90% sure 80%?”
Juno: i’m about 104% sure i mean if i could have the thing now and hand it over to ya i would but i’m guessing it probably looks a little bit like a sea monkey right now and uh we should wait uhhh until it uh gets a little cuter”
Juno:”all you got in your stomach is taco bell”
Juno: “ya should have gone to china cuz i hear they give away babies like free ipods ya know they pretty much put them in those t shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events”
Juno:”I’m already pregnant what other shenanigans can i get into”
Juno:”Whoa!! Dream big!”
Juno “are you still gonna think i’m cute when i’m huge?”
Bleeker: “ill always think your cute, i think your beautiful”
Bleeker:”she smells like soup have you ever smelled her and her whole house smells like soup”
Bleeker: “and you were not bored that day b/c there was a lot of stuff on tv and the blair witch project was coming on stars and you like i haven’t seen this since it came out but oh no we should just make out instead and la la la”
Bleeker:” i still have your underwear”
Juno: “i still have you virginity”
Juno:”are you ashamed that we did it? b/c you don’t have to have the evidence under your sweater!” ***
Bleeker:” let me get your bag”
Juno:”whats another 10lbs”
Juno’s dad:”you gotta find someone who loves you for who you are” and when ya find it thats the person worth stickin with”
Juno:” yea i think i found that”
Juno’s dad: “sure you did your ol D a D”
Juno:” i think i’m in love with you”
Bleeker:” you mean as friends?”
Juno:” no i mean for real, cause you like the coolest person ive ever met and you dont even have to try ya know”
Bleeker:” i try really hard actually”
Juno:”i think its cause my hearts start beating really fast every time i see you”
Bleeker:”mine to”
Juno:”thats all i can ask for”
Bleeker:” can we make out now?”
Juno: yea
Juno:”Dad!? i either just peed my pants or
Juno’s dad: or?
Juno:”thunder cats are go!!!!”
Bren:”cause doctors are sadists who like to play god and watch lesser people scream”****
Vanessa:”how do i look?”
Bren:”like a new mom, scared shitless”